Saturday, February 21, 2009

Calico: Not a Destination

Calico is a place that you casually stop at on the way to your destination, like Vegas or Utah. However, Danny did not understand this because when he was growing up ... this was the destination for him. His family would pack up the car and drive to Calico. Danny and I were heading out to Utah this fall and we decided that we should stop by and see if it was as amazing as we had remembered it to be as little was not. When we got to Calico, there was really nothing there. It was so hot, and all the people were really weird. There were a lot of tank tops, and faded denim ... and those were the men. We did get some pretty neat pictures though. The little school they have was a bit creepy, but it was neat to see how small the desks used to be, since now kids need just a table to function as a desk and a king sized plastic chair. Which is really messed up because existentially the table wants to function as a table and not a desk. Its essence is to be a table and not a desk, and so it must act as a table ... but fat kids force us to use the table as a desk! Which is not its purpose! So the table is forced to be something it was never meant to be!! Stupid fat kids. Ok I got side tracked ... Calico is a great place to put out a beach chair, slap on some tanning oil, and soak up the rays, other than that it is just a place to stop by. 15 min at the most, and then continue on to your destination.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

My 2009 Grammy Wrap Up

So the Grammy's were WAY too long for me to actually watch all the way through (Since as you can see from my picture above, I was partying with MK all night), but I did fast forward through what I considered the boring stuff, and watched what I felt was necessary ... this is what I gathered as my 2009 Grammy experience:
  • Was Whitney Houston high?? She seemed like her old "Aw Hell to the NO" self from Bobby and Whitney (allegedly). She looked gorgeous, but was a hot ass mess up there.
  • Carrie Underwood is gorgeous! I loved everything about her tonight ... except for the hair, it was kind of frizzy.
  • Miley Cyrus is retarded. I don't know why she talks like a 40 year-old smoker, I don't know why she dances like she is having an epileptic seizure, and I don't know why the adorable Taylor Swift had her sing with her. She tried to high jack the performance with her awkward moves and loud/obnoxious voice. Ew.
  • Katy Perry's song "I kissed a girl" is so damn catchy, too bad I sound like a lesbian singing it.
  • Was Kanye West sporting a mullet? Like an afro-mullet if you will? It was very 80's of him.
  • Duffy is a bit full of herself, no? I mean she got a little pushy with Rev. Al Green. She was totally trying to out sing him ... nice try little girl.
  • What on earth is under Kenny Chesney's hat?? And why does he look like a hamster that fell face first onto a botox injection?
  • Who the hell are Robert Plant & Alison Krauss? Was he they guy that played the wrestler in that movie about the wrestler? Is that his daughter? And why did they win all the Grammys?
  • It was kind of brutal to have to watch Queen Latifa say "Rap Pack" ... then my TV went black and white. I spent the next couple of min hitting my TV, until I began to fast forward and realized it was just a retarded artistic choice ... just like Kanyes mullet.
  • It was a little disturbing watching MIA do pelvic thrusts with her ginormous prego belly, and I didn't need to know that she was due to have her baby that night Kate. I am pretty sure I saw its head crowning with all her awkward hip movements.
  • Who were the trannies playing with Sir Paul McCartney? One of them had a beard, it was confusing. And WHY was there a stuffed animal kitten on top of the amp? I hope it was never alive. I am sure PETA will have something to say about that.
  • John Mayer is a douche bag
  • I wonder if LL Cool J has really chapped lips all the time, I mean he is constantly licking them. They have got to get chapped. No lip could withstand that much saliva.
  • I think Gwenyth Paltrow got a contact high from whatever Whitney was smoking (allegedly) because she was painful to watch introduce Radiohead.
  • The last hour was like pulling teeth. I don't need to see Neil Diamond strut his stuff, i think he thought he was in Vegas, and not singing one song at the Grammy's.
  • Seriously, John Mayer, stop appearing on my TV. You have this really creepy vibe.
  • That was nice that they let the guy from the Wrestler sing at the Grammy's with his daughter. Seriously though, why can I barely hear them when they sing? Am I deaf? Did I sit on the volume button on my remote control? Or are they whispering into the mics?
  • Why did the Krauss woman have the wind blowing in her hair while she was singing? I almost fast forwarded through their performance because I thought it was an Herbal Essence commercial ... (the same thing happened with Katy Perry's performance, except I thought they were bringing back the Chiquita Banana commercials and got excited and stopped it ... only to realize it was that damn catchy song! I sounded like a lesbian the rest of the night)
  • I can't believe the guy from the wrestler and his daughter won the album of the year. A Grammy and an Oscar nom in the same year? Crazy! Too bad I couldn't hear the woman's speech because she speaks freakishly soft.
  • While the Wrestler and friends were giving their speeches the music started to cut them off! Give them a break Grammys! These people just won the album of the year, now I don't know who they are either, but they deserve to finish their "thank you" speeches.
Well, that was my Grammy experience. I would like to thank TiVo because there was no way I would be able to sit through that for three and a half hours. Thirty min is all the Grammy I need. I would like to thank God, my family, my amazing boyfriend, and everyone who reads my blogs!

Saturday, February 7, 2009

The Pact...

So, my friends Jenny and Ashley are going to Israel for two weeks on an archaeological dig in June. Well, in order for them to travel safely, and blend in the professor in charge told them that they would have to cover their heads (they are both super super blond). So, Jenny and Ashley decided that they would dye their hair brown before they went, but in order for them not to burst into tears when they do it, me and another one of Jenny's friends are all going to go brown! They say that you should always diet in groups with your friends so you have a support group that is going through the same exact thing as you. The same should be don't when dying ones hair to drastic colors! I don't think I will go as dark as they will go, but I am excited to try a new look. They do not leave until June, so I have plenty of time to back out until then! Ha ha ha ha. Maybe I will look for a dark blond, or a golden color like Jennifer Aniston. OR maybe a Carrie Bradshaw color! So many options, good thing I have like 6 months to look for the perfect color!
PS: I already dyed my hair brown a couple of years ago...but I did it myself while Jenny was in Paris (Jenny is also my hair stylist) and it turned GREEN! Anywho after Jenny came back from Paris TWO WEEKS LATER she fixed it to the color in the picture above (in the picture with me is Ashley, a member of the pact!). However, I do not remember anything from those months of my life when I had dark hair. It is like I completely suppressed all those memories. Man, those were dark times. Hopefully this time will be different since I have a support group all doing the same thing.