My 2009 Grammy Wrap Up

So the Grammy's were WAY too long for me to actually watch all the way through (Since as you can see from my picture above, I was partying with MK all night), but I did fast forward through what I considered the boring stuff, and watched what I felt was necessary ... this is what I gathered as my 2009 Grammy experience:

• Was Whitney Houston high?? She seemed like her old "Aw Hell to the NO" self from Bobby and Whitney (allegedly). She looked gorgeous, but was a hot ass mess up there.

• Carrie Underwood is gorgeous! I loved everything about her tonight ... except for the hair, it was kind of frizzy.

• Miley Cyrus is retarded. I don't know why she talks like a 40 year-old smoker, I don't know why she dances like she is having an epileptic seizure, and I don't know why the adorable Taylor Swift had her sing with her. She tried to high jack the performance with her awkward moves and loud/obnoxious voice. Ew.

• Katy Perry's song "I kissed a girl" is so damn catchy, too bad I sound like a lesbian singing it.

• Was Kanye West sporting a mullet? Like an afro-mullet if you will? It was very 80's of him.

• Duffy is a bit full of herself, no? I mean she got a little pushy with Rev. Al Green. She was totally trying to out sing him ... nice try little girl.

• What on earth is under Kenny Chesney's hat?? And why does he look like a hamster that fell face first onto a botox injection?

• Who the hell are Robert Plant & Alison Krauss? Was he they guy that played the wrestler in that movie about the wrestler? Is that his daughter? And why did they win all the Grammys?

• It was kind of brutal to have to watch Queen Latifa say "Rap Pack" ... then my TV went black and white. I spent the next couple of min hitting my TV, until I began to fast forward and realized it was just a retarded artistic choice ... just like Kanyes mullet.

• It was a little disturbing watching MIA do pelvic thrusts with her ginormous prego belly, and I didn't need to know that she was due to have her baby that night Kate. I am pretty sure I saw its head crowning with all her awkward hip movements.

• Who were the trannies playing with Sir Paul McCartney? One of them had a beard, it was confusing. And WHY was there a stuffed animal kitten on top of the amp? I hope it was never alive. I am sure PETA will have something to say about that.

• John Mayer is a douche bag

• I wonder if LL Cool J has really chapped lips all the time, I mean he is constantly licking them. They have got to get chapped. No lip could withstand that much saliva.

• I think Gwenyth Paltrow got a contact high from whatever Whitney was smoking (allegedly) because she was painful to watch introduce Radiohead.

• The last hour was like pulling teeth. I don't need to see Neil Diamond strut his stuff, i think he thought he was in Vegas, and not singing one song at the Grammy's.

• Seriously, John Mayer, stop appearing on my TV. You have this really creepy vibe.

• That was nice that they let the guy from the Wrestler sing at the Grammy's with his daughter. Seriously though, why can I barely hear them when they sing? Am I deaf? Did I sit on the volume button on my remote control? Or are they whispering into the mics?

• Why did the Krauss woman have the wind blowing in her hair while she was singing? I almost fast forwarded through their performance because I thought it was an Herbal Essence commercial ... (the same thing happened with Katy Perry's performance, except I thought they were bringing back the Chiquita Banana commercials and got excited and stopped it ... only to realize it was that damn catchy song! I sounded like a lesbian the rest of the night)

• I can't believe the guy from the wrestler and his daughter won the album of the year. A Grammy and an Oscar nom in the same year? Crazy! Too bad I couldn't hear the woman's speech because she speaks freakishly soft.

• While the Wrestler and friends were giving their speeches the music started to cut them off! Give them a break Grammys! These people just won the album of the year, now I don't know who they are either, but they deserve to finish their "thank you" speeches.

Well, that was my Grammy experience. I would like to thank TiVo because there was no way I would be able to sit through that for three and a half hours. Thirty min is all the Grammy I need. I would like to thank God, my family, my amazing boyfriend, and everyone who reads my blogs!