Friday, January 30, 2009

Seasonal Depression

I know it was only not sunny for about two days, but it felt like a life time!! I need the sun in my life. I felt like my tan was fading, and fading quick! I had 10 days of color built up and BAM all of the sudden winter decided to show itself. I am glad that the sun is now back, and showing those rain clouds who's the boss! Today I laid out with my friend Erika, and it was AMAAZZING! We just fell asleep under the warm embracing rays of the sun. There is nothing better than laying out all day and smelling like fried chicken. Addicted? Maybe, actually absolutely. I am totally, utterly, and completely addicted to the sun. I must be tan at all times. Some of you might ask...but Emilia, aren't you scared of getting skin cancer?? HA! I laugh in the face of skin cancer! I mean, if you are going to get cancer, you might as well get skin cancer, that way you die looking tan and fabulous (you have permission to read this at my funeral if/when I do indeed die from skin cancer). I get my moles checked out regularly by my dermy. We are BFF. I have gotten so many removed, and they all come back fine. I figure at this rate I can have all my moles removed by the time I am 40, because they say that is when skin cancer begins to show itself. Sunscreen doesn't even help anymore! I was reading an article that said that some sunscreens actually cause MORE free radicals than no sunscreen at all. So, they advised to wear sunscreen that has antioxidants in it. Or to put on an antioxidant lotion nightly and then wear sunscreen in the morning (I guess antioxidants last about 4 days on your skin or something like that). ANYWHO I guess no one is safe! I might as well get a nice deep tan. I am all about global warming, and let that hole in the ozone layer get bigger. That way my tan can come quicker and deeper! Yes tans!

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The Jerk-Loser Breed

A recent little tiff with this guy I know sparked a slue of memories from back in my dating life (**Disclaimer** this post has nothing to do with that guy, just in case he reads this...which he won't because he claimed my blog put him to sleep, so obviously he was at the wrong blog). Anywho! Why is it that guys can be total dicks to girls, I mean they can be rude and disrespectful, and as soon as a girl bites back she is labeled the "bitch" or she is told to "not take things so seriously/personal." These guys are retarded (I know I shouldn't use that word, but its a funny word, and so I will continue to use it. Sue me) and the girls that put up with them are an embarrassment to women everywhere. If someone plays a prank on you, you play one back. It is a game, and I don't understand why some guys get all weirded out when a girl plays their little "I'm a sarcastic dick" game back. What am I supposedto do? Sit there and laugh about it? Tell you how much I love it when you wear your hat tilted to one angle? I think they have a word for this jerk-loser breed of men ... DoucheBags! The ones I ran into seemed to mostly reside in Utah, or at least flocked to Utah for a while. I remember when I was out in the dating scene, I'd run into these losers all the time. They would say something rude and undoubtedly retarded...AND MIND YOU it was completely unprovoked. I would be minding my own business and they would snap in with some intolerable comment. WELL I would bite back, and then alllll of the sudden they called foul play, I had an attitude problem, or I didn't know how to take a joke. If I were a guy my comments would have been greeted with laughter, and probably one of those lame high chest hand shakes that turn into a half hug, you know, the ones douchebags give each other. If a guy is a jerk to me, I will be a jerk back. I will not think you are funny, or charming. I will just think you are an A hole. This doesn't mean my feelings will be hurt...because that's the other thing that bugs me. These losers think that they have actually hurt your feelings, when in reality you are just doing the same thing they are doing to you, but they take it as hostile. I guess I always try to think of what their intentions were when saying said comment. It obviously isn't a compliment, since it is usually things like "no one will marry a girl that wears ridiculous shoes like you" (I know it is a lame example) So, I have to believe that their intentions are to belittle me, and so I come back with the same intentions. Then this happens, "WOAH! Can't you take a joke? " said the DoucheBag. YES yes I can, but what you said is not a joke, it is a comment that is made at the expense of someone else, it is unprovoked, and it is usually demeaning. So what if I like high heels, I am minding my own business. I didn't ask you if you liked my shoes, you decided to make that retarded statement on your own. Girls, if a boy is mean to you, he is not hitting on you...he is just an A HOLE, and you need to stay clear of them.

Monday, January 26, 2009

P + 4 = Complete Bore!

I am so sick of being rushed off after sacrament! I don't understand why my ward does not let us socialize! I MEEEEAAANNN! It is a freakin singles ward! Every other singles ward I've ever been to has like 15 min breaks in between classes so that we can chat it up.If I wanted to be spiritual I'd go to a home ward. How do they expect people to meet? At "linger longer"? As if! Everyone knows that all the attractive, cool people leave after sacrament! Danny and I sure do! We've got lives like all beautiful people do, we don't have time to stay for linger longer! Thank goodness I have Danny cause without him I'd probably die of boredom every Sunday. Too bad we can't ever meet any other cool people because we are shooed away to our classes every time we get the chance. Oh P4, why do you do this to us! Just let us socialize, we are young. This is the time when church is supposed to be fun! We have the rest of our lives to be in boring home wards. Just give us 18 - 30 to have fun. That is all I ask!...My venting is complete.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

World Peace...

I know, the picture of me in the crown is the most amazing picture you have ever seen. I MMEEAAAN! Look at the soft glow feature I used! I've always wanted to be Miss America, at the very least Miss USA.Who hasn't? You get a gown and a bunch of roses! Not to mention the sparkly sash you get to wear. Tonight is the Miss America Pageant! I have been watching pageants since I was a little girl, I love all pageants, Miss USA, Miss Teen USA, Miss Universe, Miss America, and even Miss Hawaiian Tropics. But for the past two years, there has been this weird movement of making Miss America more "modern" I HATE that they are trying to make it hip and modern. That is an abomination to pageants everywhere! If I want to watch women parade around in fashion forward - hip and moderness I will watch the Oscars red carpet arrivals. I want to see teased hair, a pound and a half of make up, and dresses with so many stones that it can be seen from outer space! Those are the essentials of the Miss America pageant. The fact that it is outrageous makes it amAAAzing!I can see "modern and hip" in any US Weekly any day. I want big hair and fake tans, bedazzled dresses and four rows of fake lashes (speaking of which, Dancing with the Stars comes back on March 11th...that is like a pageant every week!) Bring back the true Miss America! I don't want the new modern Miss America! I want the old tranny Miss America!

Monday, January 19, 2009

Viva Las Vegas!

When Danny and I went to Vegas in the summer we discovered this amazing place thanks to our good friend Stacy. It was called the Bone Yard, and it was where all the old strip signs went to rest. I die. It was about 140 degrees and the ground below me was melting my pink jellies (Yes I own pink jellies...I also have them in clear. Don't judge me.) We took so many pictures, actually by "we" I mean Danny took my picture. He is not a big picture fan, he hates taking pictures. I practically had to threaten him to take the picture above. I posed in front of every sign! You actually have to sign a form before they take you into the bone yard saying that you will not use the pictures for profit or blah blah blah. I guess the tour guide got all worried cause he saw me taking so many pictures, luckily Stacy was able to back me up, and let him know that they would only be going on my facebook ... and now blog! It was such a fun Vegas trip! I have been to Vegas about a million times, and this trip was probably top three! A few months after our trip I was watching some music videos, and Carrie Underwood had actually filmed her "Last Name" music video in the bone yard! I felt so connected. .
I meeeaann!!!

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Mi Primer "Blog" !Que Divertido!

Bueno, esta foto no tiene nada que ver con lo que estoy escribiendo, pero sentí como tenia que poner algo ahí. Cualquier tipo de foto. Esta foto la hice en mi clase de arte. El lado izquierdo es mi cara con maquillaje, y el lado derecho es mi cara sin maquillaje. No sabias? Soy un artista de fotografia ahora! ja ja. Ok, no se mucho de la vida de un "blogger" se que mis amigas tienen estos blogs y ponen cosas todos los días. Mi vida no es algo muy interesante para la gente que no sea Emilia Gazzoni. Las únicas cosa que me pasa es que siempre...y SIEMPRE cuando voy a comer a un restaurante me traían la comida incorrecta! SIEMPRE! Mi novio, Danny, (Estoy de novio para como 11 meses!) se ríe porque no puede creer que esto pasa cada ves que salimos. Al principio se enojaba, pero ahora no se puede hacer nada menos reírse! Bueno eso es todo para ahora, espero que nadie que yo sepa tenga el mismo fondo que yo, porque eso seria muy vergonzante!